Chapter 21: Imagine yourself at your own funeral.
The message I got from this chapter was to do everything in your life with a purpose. Do the things you love with intent and passion. When your life comes to an end, you're going to want to be satisfied with all that you've accomplished and the impact you've made on those around you.
Chapter 22: Repeat To Yourself, "Life Isn't An Emergency."
This chapter really spoke to me because I realized it was a message I really needed to hear. In life, we tend to stress about things and put pressure on ourselves to do the best. I think it's important to remind yourself that not everyone is expecting the most out of you. If you try your hardest and push to be your personal best, then it doesn't matter if you come out on the top or not.
Chapter 23: Experiment With Your Back Burner
The message of this chapter made me think a lot. In my life, I think I try to solve every problem right away. I hate letting issues sit and feeling like I can't do anything about it. But trying to solve things right away without really thinking about it is a problem in itself. Like it was said, the best thing to do is to interfere as little as possible. That way you can access the issue at hand, and go about it calmly rather than stressing about it and trying to fix things in a panic. Although it's difficult, it's important to understand that your back burner is a really useful tool when it comes to conflict management.
Chapter 24: Spend a Moment Every Day Thinking of Someone to Thank
Having gratitude towards people who make your life better lets you have more peace yourself. Taking a moment to thank and love those who help you in your life can be beneficial to not only the receiver but giver. One person who comes to mind that I'm really grateful for is my mom. Despite how much she supports me, even the small things she does makes me feel so lucky to have her. In the mornings after she leaves for work she'll text me to have a great day and to make sure I eat. It gives me a reason to be happy about my day and reminds me to take care of myself.
Chapter 25: Smile at Strangers, Look into Their Eyes, and Say Hello
I like how this chapter urges us to think more about how much a simple smile and friendly look can do for somebody. I know that when I walk by someone and make eye contact with them if I feel like they gave me a strange look I think about that all day. We all make judgments about each other and overthink small interactions so giving off a welcoming presence is so important.
Chapter 26: Set Aside Quiet Time, Every Day
Being sure to make time for yourself to de-stress and unwind is so important for a healthy lifestyle. It lets you forget about any work you have to do or any problems within your life at that moment. Taking care of yourself and letting yourself take a step back to enjoy quiet time can be so beneficial to you. It not only helps you to balance your work and personal life. but if you're at peace with yourself you can put a better foot forward into whatever tasks you must complete.
Chapter 27: Imagine the People in Your Life as Tiny Infants and as One-Hundred-Year-Old Adults
Reading this technique for the first time, it seems silly to be honest. But after trying it out myself I realized it actually really works. When it comes to people you dislike it's easy to judge them based off of the only time you see them. But imaging those same people you don't like at a more vulnerable state makes you have more sympathy for them. Rather than basing your entire opinion on a person from small interactions it's important to remember everyone has problems in their own world.
Chapter 28: Seek First to Understand
Often times, I fail to seek to understand in small arguments with my siblings. It's easy to get aggravated and lose sight of what's important, the resolution. We feel strongly about what our opinion is and get caught up in winning an argument rather than listening. I want so badly for them to see where I'm coming from and get angry when it just isn't clicking. There are two sides to every conflict so it's important to listen and process instead of acting impulsively and saying something you may regret later.
Chapter 29: Become a Better Listener
Someone that I often confide in and value their opinion is one of my best friends, Ellie. She's one of the most attentive listeners that I know. No matter the subject or how long I'm talking she's actively paying attention and providing me with good input and advice. It's so nice knowing I have someone that I can talk to who will truly hear me out and take the time to listen to what I have to say. I think we both find comfort in talking to each other because we both value a good listener.
Chapter 30: Choose Your Battles Wisely
Making sure that you're smart about the situations you put yourself into is something I've had to learn. A situation where I "lost my shh" was when I was having some friend troubles. A friend did something that upset me and I was very hurt, but I didn't confront them about it. Although I wanted to, I knew that picking a fight with this person wouldn't have any benefit to me. I could already predict the excuse they would make and the response I would get wouldn't satisfy me. Holding back had it's benefits because I later found out more information about the situation and it released some of my anger.
Chapter 31: Become Aware of Your Moods and Don't Allow Yourself to be Fooled by the Low Ones
How you begin your day and maintain your attitude can affect how you interact with others and perform socially. There was a day when I was in a really bad mood and holding that mindset with me shaped how I acted. I remember feeling tired and that reflected when I talked to my teachers and peers. However, when I start my day with a positive attitude it lifts up not only myself, but others. Staying in a good mood made me aware, productive, and happy.
Chapter 32: Life Is A Test, It Is Only A Test
This chapter really makes me consider different personalities and perspectives. I feel this mindset depends on a person's interpretation. Something that really stresses me out and appears as a test is my track performance. It's something that's important to me and I get so worried over doing my best that I forget to enjoy it. This is why I feel that the test mindset only makes me even more anxious, but I see how it can benefit certain people who handle things differently than me.
Chapter 33: Praise And Blame Are All The Same
I'm still going through the process of learning that you really can't please everyone. I try so hard to meet the needs of other people that I lose sight of my own wellbeing. As a people pleaser, this mindset can be scary. Confrontation and criticism are not easy things to handle, so we avoid them. It's easier to ignore problems and push them away than to be vulnerable and face them. We like positivity and want to give and receive praise instead of honesty and transparency. As a leader, being genuine in your feelings is so important for connection with peers. Will everybody be happy with your emotions and actions? No, and they never will be! But showing your true self and exemplifying that struggle is okay is more important than hiding away and being ignorant.
Chapter 34: Practice Random Acts Of Kindness
Receiving and giving kindness is extremely beneficial on both ends. I think it honestly feels better to give to someone that to be the receiver. Being giving random acts of kindness always feels good, but the joy and pride that comes from making someone's day is better than anything else. One time, I brought my friend a bouquet of flowers and left them at their doorstep because they were sick. I knew they were having a hard time and wanted to make sure they smiled. It didn't matter the cost or the amount of work it took to do the act. Doing a random act of kindness has so much positive impact. It could be the only good thing someone experiences that day or even week!
Chapter 35: Look Beyond Behavior
To me, the meaning of loving and kindness can be interpreted many different ways. I feel like there's no solid answer to this question because as people, we all have different ways of conveying love. Personally, I convey my love mostly through words of affirmation and acts of service. I find value in not only sharing my compassion verbally, but matching my actions to my words. Generally, So with this, I believe that true love and kindness is the intention behind what you do for others, not just the act.
Chapter 36: See The Innocence
I believe that it's important to look past the drama a person may be surrounded with, but also be conscious of their reputation. When you show compassion and let go of a person's "story" you can share a memorable experience with them and maybe see that the opinions others have of them aren't accurate. However, you need to keep in mind the name that they carry with themselves. If you surround yourself with someone with a bad reputation you could be grouped somewhere you don't want to be.
Chapter 37: Choose Being Right Over Being Kind
Equanimity for me is staying level headed in tense situations. This could be in various different ways, in social settings, in academics, or even just internally. One of the smartest things to do when there is stress or frustration is to try to calm yourself down and not immediately react. I'm trying to work this into my life, especially since I have a higher position in leadership this year. But it's a work in progress!
Chapter 38: Tell Three People (today) How Much You Love Them
If I had to tell three people how much I loved them today it would be my Mom, my best friends, and my teacher. My Mom, because she shows compassion to me daily. She understands when I need time to myself but also knows to check up on me. My best friends, because even just their presence can calm me down when everything else in my life is going crazy. And my teacher, because he is always willing to let me talk to him and understands when I just need to decompose!
Chapter 39: Practice Humility
I think that knowing how to practice humility is such a useful tool in a leader. When being around those who like to brag about their accomplishments it can make others feel small and less proud of their own achievements. Big egos and overconfidence can taint a working environment and bring about a strong sense of toxicity. From personal experience, it's sad to see members of a team lose their spark and eagerness to lead because of one person who overtakes a project and puts themself on a pedestal.
Chapter 40: When in Doubt about Whose Turn It Is to Take Out the Trash, Go Ahead and Take it Out
I have a different perspective on this article than the author's. In my opinion, it strongly depends on the person that you're choosing to help. It's not about keeping track of the tasks that you've done for someone, it's more about the amount of times the same effort and gratitude has not been reciprocated. If you continue to give into others and let them walk over you they become dependent on your assistance. Knowing when to say yes and when to say no is vital in holding true to your worth.
Chapter 41: Avoid Weatherproofing
If I'm going to be completely honest, I'm a weather proofer. I think I weather proof in more situations than in relationships with others. While it is true, I notice flaws in others, I don't constantly bring that to their attention, or at least try not to. This is because I know I'm a very flawed person myself. However, when it comes to social situations, putting on events, or a test of some sort I most definitely weather proof. While it may not be a great mindset, I think that I always go into things with a low expectation for myself as a bit of protection. In the case something does go wrong, I'm prepared for it and not let down since I had predicted the outcome. I realize now this is a bit toxic and self sabotaging.
Chapter 42: Spend a Moment, Every Day, Thinking of Someone to Love
I've recently been thinking of sending love to my oldest sister. She lives in Europe and won't be able to come home for the holidays this year so we'll definitely be missing each other. This will be the first Christmas when our family isn't all together to it'll be something to adjust to. I'll have to make sure I stay in touch with her and let her know how much I love and miss her.
Chapter 43: Become an Anthropologist
Over my time in high school I've learned how pointless it is to heavily judge others. While keeping a fair sense of judgement is important, doing it so much that it takes over your mindset is excessive. When you focus your time and effort so much on being judgmental to what others are doing it makes you lose sight of yourself. Being critical of those around you will only result in your own failure.
Chapter 44: Understand Separate Realities
I think it's important to acknowledge differences in our own social circle compared to those of other cultures because it makes you more aware of your actions and perception on the world. When looking at the behavior and manner of other people you can get a better look of what you do, or more importantly, what you don't do as a person. It's crucial to utilize self reflection as much as you can.
Chapter 45: Develop Your Own Helping Rituals
Spreading kindness can be done in very simple ways. Everyday, small words of appreciation, gestures, and acknowledgments can spread kindness to others. One of the easiest ways to be kind can be shown through as little as a smile. When kindness is shown to someone, oftentimes it will improve their mood and can inspire them to spread that consideration to people around them.
Chapter 46: Everyday, Tell At Least One Person Something You Like, Admire, Or Appreciate About Them
I chose to give a compliment to my mom. She has been so supportive for me recently and has acted as my rock. My mom has shown me in various different ways how she cares about me and wants me to see that I have people on my side. It made me feel really happy to give her a compliment because she truly deserves the world and I don't think she hears it enough.
Chapter 47: Argue For Your Limitations, and They're Yours
To be completely honest, I set limitations for myself quite a bit. I think that I have a lot of self doubt because I care heavily about the things that I do. This isn't a great trait to pick up because it's a serious downer on your confidence and will negatively impact your self esteem. I think myself and others can work on breaking out of this by having more pride in personal accomplishments. It's important to give yourself credit and a little pat on the back sometimes.
Chapter 49: Resist the Urge to Criticize
I believe that oftentimes, people who judge others easily are insecure and project those feelings. They think that by criticizing others it will distract from their real internal issues. We can all lack this perspective at times, it can be easy to pick apart those around us. I'm guilty of this myself, but I think being aware of it helps you be less critical. You begin to question the validity of your comments and see from the perspective of others more.
Chapter 50: Write Down Your Five Most Stubborn Positions and See if You Can Soften Them
To be completely honest, I find stubbornness everywhere in myself. Part of me wants to say it's genetics, part of me wants to say it's because I'm a Sagittarius, but either way it's a part of who I am. Most people think of "stubborn" as a negative trait. While this can be true, I think it goes to an extent. I believe being stubborn can also mean that you are firm in your values and trust yourself. But with this trait, it's important to keep in mind that other opinions and ideas are of value.